In the previous article I raised the topic of our values.
And today I would like to talk about beliefs, because they also play a huge role in our lives.
What are beliefs
So what is a belief?
A belief is a person’s stable system of views that is based on his or her knowledge, life experience, faith, attitudes, desires, and ideas.
In a deeper sense, our human beliefs are the picture of the world that we accept and adhere to. Beliefs are formed through personal experience, knowledge, upbringing, some vivid events in life that made a strong impression on us and made us believe in something. Also thanks to social stereotypes and authoritative personalities we trusted and trusted.
With the help of our beliefs we orient ourselves in this world and make decisions.
But it is still worthwhile to understand how our beliefs affect our lives. You can look at your life from above and determine which beliefs make your life what it is.
Any personal belief you have about yourself or the world around you must first be identified, realized, looked at from the outside, and only then can you begin the work of destroying it and replacing it with the desired one.
Examples of beliefs are:
- I am a successful person;
- It is dangerous to cross at a red traffic light;
- I will never learn to play the piano.
Conventionally, beliefs can be divided into three types:
- Resource or helping;
- Neutral;
- Non-resourceful or limiting.
Now, a little bit about each
- Helpful beliefs, as a rule, are based on our facts and preferences – I am a successful person. Having these beliefs in our arsenal gives us a kind of inner support that is sometimes sorely lacking.
- Neutral in turn become, as if a rule for life and we rarely think about their truth – Going through the red – dangerous.
- Limiting beliefs are the most dangerous for you and me, because they distort our thinking. It is formed on the basis of our evaluations and shoulds – I must obey, all men are womanizers.
How to identify limiting beliefs
So how do you identify limiting beliefs in yourself after all?
The first way is through “beacon words.” Some people often use words like “never”, “always”, “all”, “don’t know”, “can’t”, “no one”, “forever”, “should”, “must”, “have to”, “I am the most”, “I am so”, etc. I call these words “parasites” since they knowingly already speak of a certain belief, but which one, you know. Pay attention to the context in which you use them.
The second is to work with a problem. Name a problem that you have been unable to solve for a long time. Write about 8 reasons why you can’t do it. Analyze what you have written and more importantly how.
The third way is to write out your 3 main goals for this year, opposite write what is stopping you. Notice how next to these goals appears the particle “but” with a continuation. Think about what that means?
The fourth way is to see a professional to help you with this.
Beliefs always sound like a categorical statement. They can be directed at yourself or at other people.
Examples of limiting beliefs:
- Second college degree at age 40. Really? That’s too late for me;
- Getting a new job at 50? Come on, I should be retired by now;
- He’s stupid;
- All men are womanizers, I’m not getting married.
Limiting beliefs are just our deep opinions and very strong ones at that. They dictate conditions that have to be met. They limit us in our thinking, in our behavior, they prevent us from going towards our goals, our dreams.
First of all, after identifying such beliefs, see if they really prevent you from achieving the necessary results. Evaluate how much – write out the pluses and minuses, even your possible losses can be included there. If after all the work you’ve done you realize it’s worth changing, then start acting.
Formulate a new belief. It should be the opposite of the interfering belief – it should contain no “no” and “not”, set up for positivity.
For example: “I will never learn to drive because I am incapable” into “Everyone has the ability to drive. Every day I practice and become more attentive and confident behind the wheel.”
Gather an evidence base for the new claim – any compelling facts you can find. For example, look at statistics in the world of women driving, think of women in your circle who drive, ask how they got started. Constantly look for more evidence of your new belief so that the mind gets used to it.
To make the belief enter the subconscious, repeat it during meditation, before going to bed, when you are very tired, when you just woke up. You can record it with your voice on your phone and turn it on every time you get a chance.
The time to replace the old belief with a new one depends on you and your desire, diligence and your personal motivation. And of course, don’t forget about fears and resistance to change. It can take years for some, months for some, weeks for others.
If you are determined to change and become a better person, you will succeed. Do it!